When you’re downtown it doesn’t matter what you’re doing it simply matters that you’re there.

Anyone who’s anyone is only someone when they’re downtown.

Wanna go for a walk and show off your new clothes? Do it downtown.

Wanna take your yappy little pupcessory somewhere? Do it downtown.

Wanna buy expensive shit to add to your collection of other expensive pieces of shit that, when combined, become the absolute sum of you? We’ve got a downtown for that too.

You can take in the view, downtown; you can see tall towers, downtown; you can see the water and the boats and the seagulls, downtown; you can see the poorest postal code, downtown.

Me? I went downtown for a funeral. The area where the service was didn’t have a stained glass window, as my title might lead you to believe.

Worry not, downtown provides. Always.